i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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