just survived the first fart of the relationship.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize