Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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