what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My vagina just clenched in fear
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
