Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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