Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
