I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize