Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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