He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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