My nipple is on Facebook.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
