just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
