The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
