JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You're like the curious george of whores
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
