During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
bring money and cleavage
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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