i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
