margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
