I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
