Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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