David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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