We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
