i just wanna soil my oats bro
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
