I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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