I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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