hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
