he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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