Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
