she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
