Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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