So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
