Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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