Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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