like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
