like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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