He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
