Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
