his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
