i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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