I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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