Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize