bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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