awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
