Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
