trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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