i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
