8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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