Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
