Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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