I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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