I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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