that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
