return my video game
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
