I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
