how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think your dad took our porno
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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