I am puke
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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