I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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