this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
