Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
