i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
