I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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