I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
