ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
