He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
