you would pick up someone in the library
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
sex in a hospital.. check
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
