I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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