that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
