just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
