Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
