I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Randomize
