Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
