we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize